Time to Grow

I have been forced to think about growing up the past few months.

You’d think this statement is coming from a woman in her early 20’s, someone who’s just entered the workforce or who’s recently gotten into a relationship or has had something life-altering happen to her.

It’s not. It’s coming from a 29-year old woman, who strangely feels like she’s 21 and just starting her adult life.

Even more strange is the fact that for most of my life, I was the big sister. I have always had a strong need to nurture. In college, I was the one who took younger people under my wing to protect them and be there for them and give them advice, helping them through the stuff they had to deal with.

How did I ever end up perpetually 21?

I see some people now that I used to know from way back and I  see how much they’ve grown. They’re women with husbands, kids, responsibilities, apartments, cars, loans, insurance, a bank account with nothing less than 100K in it. They’re women in relationships, at the peak of their careers, investing in bonds and stocks and bills and other things I don’t understand. They’re women who travel the world, who meet people and don’t feel the least bit intimidated by them.

And I am here. Not as grown up as I’d want to be.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t reject where I am or who I am. I know that although maybe it’s taken longer than I’d hoped,  I am where God wants me to be. It’s all starting to take form now.

From all sides, I’ve been getting revelations all pointing to one road. That is, the road to maturity.

Career-wise, it’s the first time I’ve been put in a position where if something goes wrong, I take the heat. I’ve always had people to back me up in the past. Now, the buck stops and starts with me. This is the first time I’ve had the privilege of leading a group of women and have the great and daunting responsibility of guiding them and making sure they get the most out of their stint here so when it’s time to move on, they will be wiser, sharper, and really just the very best at what they do. This is the first time I’ve had to really face my work fears and like the Nike slogan says, “just do it.”  I am learning so much about myself, about other people, and most especially about God through my new (old) work. I am grateful and excited to see what’s up ahead.

Tonight, a friend of mine from church came up to me and asked when I’d be free to chat. I prodded him to tell me what he wanted to talk to me and a friend of mine about and it turns out it was about packaging ourselves better. I found the whole thing funny because it was so unexpected but I appreciate so much that this friend of mine (whom I see as both a dad and friend in one) had the courage and cared enough about me to go right out and say what I’m sure a lot of people have wanted to say but didn’t know how. That really got me thinking. It is really time for a change.

Then, when I got home I saw my very good friend Tin’s blog and it was also about growing up.

It took a while, I know, but finally I can say: I get the message, God.

Organizing Chaos

I confess. I keep a messy desk.

Last Wednesday’s leadership group discussed three of the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. One of the topics discussed was problem solving. John Maxwell’s advice to those who get paralyzed by unforeseen circumstances is to anticipate problems. In other words, we need to plan ahead and take into consideration that things might not go exactly the way we planned.

One thought led to another. And we found ourselves talking about the state of our workstations. My friend Char defends the mess by telling people who sneer that what is one her desk is disorganized chaos. One of the pastors she works with replies: there’s no such thing.

True, true. While I relate very much to having piles of paper and other stuff on my desk and being able to find that teeny-weeny piece of paper where I wrote so-and-so’s phone number, I also know that just because I get by with organized chaos (yes, maybe I even say I work better with it), the truth is I love a clean desk. I love the idea of knowing where exactly the contract for QTV is because it’s filed away (fastened and all) in the 2008 Contracts – TV folder which is placed where the other folders are. It’s a relief to see what my desk really looks like almost-bare.

The desk is now neat. I’ve been toiling for a couple of hours. I’m sure it’s not as neat as a certified neat-freak’s desk, but this is certainly a good start. I think it’s Emily Barnes who said this: A place for everything; everything in place.

That’s a nice thought.

Undeniably Summer

Can you believe how hot it is?! 

Just came back from a trip to Baguio with my family and some of the staff of myhomespa, my Mom’s home service spa business. I don’t usually like going to Baguio because I’m more of a beach person than a mountain person but I have to admit it was a relief to escape the Manila heat. The weather wasn’t super cold but was cold enough for me to drive around Baguio with the windows down (except for when we got anywhere near Session Road, which I was told is said to be the most polluted street in the country.) 

It was my first time to stay at Baguio Country Club (thanks to Tito Ricky Y.). The place was fantastic. The room was certainly better than what I expected. The stay also sparked my brother’s extreme interest in golf (genes I think he might have gotten from my mom’s brother, Tito Perry, who was a JunGolfer back in the day). Every single day of our stay, he would prop up a chair by the window to watch golfers. Ever single day he asked to be taught but since we had a pretty packed itinerary and they didn’t have junior golf sets, he wasn’t able to play (at least not when I was there [had to go back home a day ahead of them]). Another highlight is the country club’s raisin bread. I am not a bread person but believe me, they have the best raisin bread I have ever tasted in my life. 

It was also my first time to go to Trinidad Valley. Didn’t get to pick strawberries but Amico, my brother, had a great time jumping into a muddy hole.  His sneakers were filthy! My Mom had to go buy slippers but it was a choice between a P150 pair and a 3-for-100 pair. Guess what my Ilocano Mom chose! Haha! It would’ve been fine except the slippers were unmistakably ladies’ slippers. My brother probably regretted jumping into that hole all the way to Session Road where my Tito thankfully bought him hiking sandals (at least I think that’s what they’re called).

Spent my spare time reading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. If you’re a single woman and you have not read that, I recommend that you borrow or buy a copy. Eye-opening and well, convicting, really. Ladies just really need to be reminded to let the men be men. It’s always very tempting, given women’s nature to control situations, to take matters into their own hands. (I’m not just talking dating here.) That’s why it’s good to be reminded about these things. I know it’s very anti-Cosmo of me, but well, I haven’t really been a Cosmo girl for the longest time. The thing is I can say truthfully the Cosmo way never worked for me. It will seem to work for a time, but experience taught me that it won’t in the long run. The Bible way, on the other hand, while not the easiest way, is the way I’m going from now on. Four years of being a Christian and it’s just now that I’m really getting it. As always, balance is the key.

Going back to summer, it was so hot in Galleria today. The whole time I was meeting my small group, I was dabbing my face with tissue. The Victory center was not as packed as usual (I guess a lot of people took advantage of the Holy Week break) but man, was it hot! Pastor Ferdie’s preaching about Jesus’ resurrection was awesome, though, and that’s why I didn’t mind the heat so much. That video he used was perfect for the series CSI Jerusalem. The message, where Pastor Ferdie also mentioned the seven last words, reminded me of last year’s Easter message given by Pastor Steve Murrell at the Fort, where I used to work. I still remember the painting illustration, which really made me understand what it meant when Jesus said “It is Finished.” To listen to that, click here. 

Another full work week ahead of me and I’m still up at close to 3AM. This Sunday habit is getting to be unhealthy. I’m excited for tomorrow, though, because our new Media Relations associate, K, is joining our weekly Monday meeting. She’s supposed to start tomorrow but it turns out her medical hasn’t been turned over to Summit yet. Nevertheless, I’m excited to have a our team complete again.  

Boxed Out

Have not blogged in what feels like decades. It’s not that there’s a lack of things to blog about because, believe me, there are a lot of thoughts going through my head that need to be put into writing. I think that’s precisely why I haven’t been blogging – because there’s just too much on my plate ( as always).

So what does one do when one has too much going on? One realigns, refocuses and gets all the unnecessary out of the way in order to make room for essentials that have been pushed aside because the urgent has this irritating habit of boxing out everything else.