Random Ramblings

I love Sundays, especially when the next day is a holiday, which is the case today. Only in the Philippines (I think) do we move national holidays because it’s more economical to have long weekends. I’m not complaining. I’m usually very tired come Sunday evening, since Sunday is my ministry and church day. I usually end up sleep deprived on Mondays because I end up staying up till the wee hours because I’m still very much awake when I get home and so I end up doing a lot of things other than what I should be doing, which is sleeping. Tonight, I am free to blog and read and watch what-have-you’s on my laptop because tomorrow is still a non-working day for me. Hurrah!

I loved Finding Jonah
We just concluded the series Finding Jonah tonight in church. I found myself teary-eyed a lot of times during the service because what we talked about tonight (and the whole series actually) just spoke to me. Tonight, Pastor Ferdie spoke about how a lot of times, people grow indifferent about what happens around them. When we see injustice, when we see that something is not right, we do nothing. The mantra becomes “if it doesn’t concern me directly, it doesn’t concern me at all.” Sadly, I’ve had moments like that in my life. I remember my mom being disappointed when I didn’t seem at all affected during Edsa Dos. Nothing stirred me anymore. I think it might have something to do with age (and a lot to do with apathy). I’m glad that now I allow myself to get affected about what happens around me. I get mad when I see injustice. I cry when I see that people are lost or on a road to destruction. I get giddy with excitement when something great happens. I am stirred by people who inspire. There was a time I was afraid to feel all of these things and do something in response to how I felt. But those days are over.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26

Nothing beats Sunday evenings with friends
Had a fantastic time getting together with Iris, Meg, and Fida tonight at Starbucks.  We saw Amy and Gaviene passing by so they joined us. The more, the merrier talaga! Had a great time talking about books, movies, weird quirks, and a lot of other things.

Not so small anymore
I just realized today that my Sunday small group isn’t so small anymore. I can’t believe there are now ten women in my group. And they’re a diverse group, too. I have a budding fashion designer and businesswoman, a nursing student, a college freshman, a girl who manages a home service spa, a registered nurse, a soon-to-be registered nurse, three office employees, and a real estate agent. Age range is 16 to 30. It’s a joy getting to know each one of them and seeing them grow in their relationship with God.

Eager to get read
Finally got myself a copy of The Shack, a Christian fiction bestseller that a lot of my friends from church have been talking about. Love, one of the girls in my small group, bought it for me in the US. Can’t wait to start reading!! Amy read it several times and said that it’s the kind of book you’ll read again and again. I’m excited!

Book Club, anyone?
We talked about starting a book club tonight. Since we all seem to love reading and talking about what we’ve read, it seems like a fantastic idea. I’m excited! Oh, and it seems it will also be a movie club as well, since we all love watching movies, too.

Weekend Thoughts

Of Unupdated Blogs and New Work Spaces

I cannot believe I haven’t blogged more than a month. I’ve been meaning to. But I guess the blogger in me is looking for its old environment (in my own room at a ghastly hour). Still not used to my work desktop enough to write from my office. I guess I’m not used to the office being a place I can be my blogger self. That, I think, will change once we move to the new office in Cybergate 3. I’ve seen photos and my area looks fantastic and is right next to our very own meeting area. I have an L-shaped desk, too! Really excited to move.

Could this be a God idea?

I was driving home from church tonight when an idea struck. I might not need to choose between doing something God is asking me to do for a season and doing something I’ve always loved to do and would love to go back to doing. I can’t really spill any details but if this is really from God, I think this just might work. I’m totally pumped!

Me? Drive my own car again?

So, my mom proposes this weekend to help me buy my own car. A brand-new one at that! She’ll pay the downpayment and will pay half of the monthly installment so all I need to pay for is half the monthly payment, gas, maintenance, and insurance. This has gotten me seiously thinking about taking my finances seriously. I have to admit I haven’t been the most frugal person these past few years. There have been times I was downright stupid about money. But tonight has gotten me thinking about spending less and earning more. Yes, I believe it’s time for me to attend the seminar by Crown Financial Ministries.

Moving in with Mama

If the plan of getting a new car pushes through, I’m considering moving in with my paternal grandmother who’s been living alone since my grandfather died two years ago. The thought makes me happy. She won’t be so lonely with me around. And I get to sleep in her oh-so-comfy bedroom with airconditioning. And I get to eat real food everyday and brown bag real food so I’ll have something to eat at work. I’ll have a car to go around. If all pushes through career-wise, I’ll be doing what I want to do (although I know this will mean 6 days of hard work, instead of my current 5-day workweek schedule). If the work thing pushes through, it will mean getting more financially so I can finally pay off all my debts plus the car. I can go home to my family every Saturday and spend quality time with them. And because I’ll still be living in the vicinity of Metro Manila, the travel and gas expenditure will not be as bad as if I had to go home to Laguna everyday. I think I’ll even manage to be able to work out. Fantastic.

Loving Finding Jonah

The series we’re on now at church is awesome. We’re talking about the life of Jonah. Patrick Mercado, our youth pastor, preached at the 7PM adult service today and his preaching was absolutely anointed. I’m telling you the young man has tremendous potential! If he can preach like that now that he’s in mid-20s, I can imagine what he’ll be like in ten years or so. I’ve been working with him in my church’s youth ministry for the last year and he really has grown a lot as a leader.

The preaching tonight made me remember how grateful I am that even when I ran away and hid from God, He was relentless in pursuing me. I didn’t get the message very early in my life and that’s why I had to go through a lot of gruelling challenges. I, like Jonah, came to the point of being swallowed alive by a whale. There was no one to turn to but Him. I know it’s bad that it got to that point. But I think for me, it really had to come to that. Hitting rock bottom only meant there was no way to go but up. And I am absolutely floored until now when I remember that time in my life when God picked me up and took me from pitch-black to darkness into His wonderful light.

More about that in the next blog.

Time to Grow

I have been forced to think about growing up the past few months.

You’d think this statement is coming from a woman in her early 20’s, someone who’s just entered the workforce or who’s recently gotten into a relationship or has had something life-altering happen to her.

It’s not. It’s coming from a 29-year old woman, who strangely feels like she’s 21 and just starting her adult life.

Even more strange is the fact that for most of my life, I was the big sister. I have always had a strong need to nurture. In college, I was the one who took younger people under my wing to protect them and be there for them and give them advice, helping them through the stuff they had to deal with.

How did I ever end up perpetually 21?

I see some people now that I used to know from way back and I  see how much they’ve grown. They’re women with husbands, kids, responsibilities, apartments, cars, loans, insurance, a bank account with nothing less than 100K in it. They’re women in relationships, at the peak of their careers, investing in bonds and stocks and bills and other things I don’t understand. They’re women who travel the world, who meet people and don’t feel the least bit intimidated by them.

And I am here. Not as grown up as I’d want to be.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t reject where I am or who I am. I know that although maybe it’s taken longer than I’d hoped,  I am where God wants me to be. It’s all starting to take form now.

From all sides, I’ve been getting revelations all pointing to one road. That is, the road to maturity.

Career-wise, it’s the first time I’ve been put in a position where if something goes wrong, I take the heat. I’ve always had people to back me up in the past. Now, the buck stops and starts with me. This is the first time I’ve had the privilege of leading a group of women and have the great and daunting responsibility of guiding them and making sure they get the most out of their stint here so when it’s time to move on, they will be wiser, sharper, and really just the very best at what they do. This is the first time I’ve had to really face my work fears and like the Nike slogan says, “just do it.”  I am learning so much about myself, about other people, and most especially about God through my new (old) work. I am grateful and excited to see what’s up ahead.

Tonight, a friend of mine from church came up to me and asked when I’d be free to chat. I prodded him to tell me what he wanted to talk to me and a friend of mine about and it turns out it was about packaging ourselves better. I found the whole thing funny because it was so unexpected but I appreciate so much that this friend of mine (whom I see as both a dad and friend in one) had the courage and cared enough about me to go right out and say what I’m sure a lot of people have wanted to say but didn’t know how. That really got me thinking. It is really time for a change.

Then, when I got home I saw my very good friend Tin’s blog and it was also about growing up.

It took a while, I know, but finally I can say: I get the message, God.

Organizing Chaos

I confess. I keep a messy desk.

Last Wednesday’s leadership group discussed three of the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. One of the topics discussed was problem solving. John Maxwell’s advice to those who get paralyzed by unforeseen circumstances is to anticipate problems. In other words, we need to plan ahead and take into consideration that things might not go exactly the way we planned.

One thought led to another. And we found ourselves talking about the state of our workstations. My friend Char defends the mess by telling people who sneer that what is one her desk is disorganized chaos. One of the pastors she works with replies: there’s no such thing.

True, true. While I relate very much to having piles of paper and other stuff on my desk and being able to find that teeny-weeny piece of paper where I wrote so-and-so’s phone number, I also know that just because I get by with organized chaos (yes, maybe I even say I work better with it), the truth is I love a clean desk. I love the idea of knowing where exactly the contract for QTV is because it’s filed away (fastened and all) in the 2008 Contracts – TV folder which is placed where the other folders are. It’s a relief to see what my desk really looks like almost-bare.

The desk is now neat. I’ve been toiling for a couple of hours. I’m sure it’s not as neat as a certified neat-freak’s desk, but this is certainly a good start. I think it’s Emily Barnes who said this: A place for everything; everything in place.

That’s a nice thought.