Random Ramblings

I love Sundays, especially when the next day is a holiday, which is the case today. Only in the Philippines (I think) do we move national holidays because it’s more economical to have long weekends. I’m not complaining. I’m usually very tired come Sunday evening, since Sunday is my ministry and church day. I usually end up sleep deprived on Mondays because I end up staying up till the wee hours because I’m still very much awake when I get home and so I end up doing a lot of things other than what I should be doing, which is sleeping. Tonight, I am free to blog and read and watch what-have-you’s on my laptop because tomorrow is still a non-working day for me. Hurrah!

I loved Finding Jonah
We just concluded the series Finding Jonah tonight in church. I found myself teary-eyed a lot of times during the service because what we talked about tonight (and the whole series actually) just spoke to me. Tonight, Pastor Ferdie spoke about how a lot of times, people grow indifferent about what happens around them. When we see injustice, when we see that something is not right, we do nothing. The mantra becomes “if it doesn’t concern me directly, it doesn’t concern me at all.” Sadly, I’ve had moments like that in my life. I remember my mom being disappointed when I didn’t seem at all affected during Edsa Dos. Nothing stirred me anymore. I think it might have something to do with age (and a lot to do with apathy). I’m glad that now I allow myself to get affected about what happens around me. I get mad when I see injustice. I cry when I see that people are lost or on a road to destruction. I get giddy with excitement when something great happens. I am stirred by people who inspire. There was a time I was afraid to feel all of these things and do something in response to how I felt. But those days are over.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26

Nothing beats Sunday evenings with friends
Had a fantastic time getting together with Iris, Meg, and Fida tonight at Starbucks.  We saw Amy and Gaviene passing by so they joined us. The more, the merrier talaga! Had a great time talking about books, movies, weird quirks, and a lot of other things.

Not so small anymore
I just realized today that my Sunday small group isn’t so small anymore. I can’t believe there are now ten women in my group. And they’re a diverse group, too. I have a budding fashion designer and businesswoman, a nursing student, a college freshman, a girl who manages a home service spa, a registered nurse, a soon-to-be registered nurse, three office employees, and a real estate agent. Age range is 16 to 30. It’s a joy getting to know each one of them and seeing them grow in their relationship with God.

Eager to get read
Finally got myself a copy of The Shack, a Christian fiction bestseller that a lot of my friends from church have been talking about. Love, one of the girls in my small group, bought it for me in the US. Can’t wait to start reading!! Amy read it several times and said that it’s the kind of book you’ll read again and again. I’m excited!

Book Club, anyone?
We talked about starting a book club tonight. Since we all seem to love reading and talking about what we’ve read, it seems like a fantastic idea. I’m excited! Oh, and it seems it will also be a movie club as well, since we all love watching movies, too.

Weekend Thoughts

Of Unupdated Blogs and New Work Spaces

I cannot believe I haven’t blogged more than a month. I’ve been meaning to. But I guess the blogger in me is looking for its old environment (in my own room at a ghastly hour). Still not used to my work desktop enough to write from my office. I guess I’m not used to the office being a place I can be my blogger self. That, I think, will change once we move to the new office in Cybergate 3. I’ve seen photos and my area looks fantastic and is right next to our very own meeting area. I have an L-shaped desk, too! Really excited to move.

Could this be a God idea?

I was driving home from church tonight when an idea struck. I might not need to choose between doing something God is asking me to do for a season and doing something I’ve always loved to do and would love to go back to doing. I can’t really spill any details but if this is really from God, I think this just might work. I’m totally pumped!

Me? Drive my own car again?

So, my mom proposes this weekend to help me buy my own car. A brand-new one at that! She’ll pay the downpayment and will pay half of the monthly installment so all I need to pay for is half the monthly payment, gas, maintenance, and insurance. This has gotten me seiously thinking about taking my finances seriously. I have to admit I haven’t been the most frugal person these past few years. There have been times I was downright stupid about money. But tonight has gotten me thinking about spending less and earning more. Yes, I believe it’s time for me to attend the seminar by Crown Financial Ministries.

Moving in with Mama

If the plan of getting a new car pushes through, I’m considering moving in with my paternal grandmother who’s been living alone since my grandfather died two years ago. The thought makes me happy. She won’t be so lonely with me around. And I get to sleep in her oh-so-comfy bedroom with airconditioning. And I get to eat real food everyday and brown bag real food so I’ll have something to eat at work. I’ll have a car to go around. If all pushes through career-wise, I’ll be doing what I want to do (although I know this will mean 6 days of hard work, instead of my current 5-day workweek schedule). If the work thing pushes through, it will mean getting more financially so I can finally pay off all my debts plus the car. I can go home to my family every Saturday and spend quality time with them. And because I’ll still be living in the vicinity of Metro Manila, the travel and gas expenditure will not be as bad as if I had to go home to Laguna everyday. I think I’ll even manage to be able to work out. Fantastic.

Loving Finding Jonah

The series we’re on now at church is awesome. We’re talking about the life of Jonah. Patrick Mercado, our youth pastor, preached at the 7PM adult service today and his preaching was absolutely anointed. I’m telling you the young man has tremendous potential! If he can preach like that now that he’s in mid-20s, I can imagine what he’ll be like in ten years or so. I’ve been working with him in my church’s youth ministry for the last year and he really has grown a lot as a leader.

The preaching tonight made me remember how grateful I am that even when I ran away and hid from God, He was relentless in pursuing me. I didn’t get the message very early in my life and that’s why I had to go through a lot of gruelling challenges. I, like Jonah, came to the point of being swallowed alive by a whale. There was no one to turn to but Him. I know it’s bad that it got to that point. But I think for me, it really had to come to that. Hitting rock bottom only meant there was no way to go but up. And I am absolutely floored until now when I remember that time in my life when God picked me up and took me from pitch-black to darkness into His wonderful light.

More about that in the next blog.

Spring Reading Thing 2008

Katrina, over at Callapidder Days, hosts a reading challenge every season. I’ve joined the challenge twice and failed the challenge twice also. This time, I’m hoping I’ll be able to read everything that’s on my list.

Here goes:

FICTION:

1. Baby Proof by Emily Giffin – Picked up this book last week. I’ve been wanting to read this for a long time so I took advantage of the sale over at Bestsellers, the bookstore near my office. Looks like a light read so I’m hoping to finish this quickly.

2. Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson - I finally got myself a copy! I’ve been seeing this book on other people’s lists the past two reading challenges
and have heard great things about it. Can’t wait to read.

3. A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern - Ahern is one of my favorite chick lit authors. I thoroughly enjoyed PS I Love You and If You Could See Me
Now. This one’s plot looks promising.

4. The Fiction Class by Susan Breen -  The only book on my list that I don’t yet own a copy of. Borrowing a copy from my friend Varsha. Seems like a good read.

5. Piercing the Darkness by Frank Peretti – One of the books I’ve left unfinished that I’m determined to finish in the next two months.

6. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer – Halfway done with this one. It’s easy to read so I predict I’ll be done sometime in the next few days.

NON-FICTION

1. The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer - Currently reading this one. Not jumping up and down yet but so far so good.

2. In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson - Started reading the first few chapters. It is SO good. I would recommend it to people who need fresh fire in
their lives. Will certainly make you get up and do something!

3. The Seven Pillars of Health by Don and Mary Colbert – I’m on the second section of this book and let me tell you, it’s THE book to read if you want to get healthy. Based on biblical principles, practical, and well researched book.

4. If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Gotta Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg - One of my favorite authors. I’ve read the first few chapters. Inspiring and encouraging.

I would want to add a few more but this looks like all I can manage for now.  If I get to finish two in the next week. I’ll probabaly be able to add a few more titles.

What are YOU reading? Would love to hear from you.

Here’s another

This guy is pretty cool, too. Love his cover of Go On Girl by Ne-Yo. Check him out on myspace: http://www.myspace.com/braddoggett

Better than the Original

Boyce Avenue. They make covers sound even better than the original. I liked Bleeding Love when I first heard it but now, I am completely hooked. And it’s not because of Leona Lewis. It’s because of these guys. Fantastic.

Love Hurts

I just finished listening to a preaching by one of my favorite preachers in the whole world – my former boss Pastor Joey Bonifacio. Last February, our Fort church went through a preaching series called What about Love? In this series, they talked about what the Bible says about love. This particular preaching that I listened to was entitled “Love Hurts.”

The preaching came at the perfect time because now, more than ever, I am feeling how love hurts. I’m not heartbroken, mind you. If you listen to the preaching, it talks about how it says in the bible that God disciplines those he loves. And if anyone of you has experienced disciplined in the past, you know that it’s not the most enjoyable thing to experience.

I have always had a problem with discipline. Discipline was not a word I encountered very much growing up. There were not a lot of rules that I had to follow. I wasn’t corrected a lot. I guess it’s because I’ve managed to always pass the bare minimum requirements in everything I did. I managed to not attract attention by being the best behaved among my cousins. I managed to pass all my subjects and maybe even to be good at some of the things I engaged in academically and so my study habits (or lack of it) were never watched over or corrected. I managed to look like I had it together when in fact I did not so that no one would remember to sit me down and tell me what I was doing wrong.

It’s not because I hate correction because I’ve come to realize that I feel more loved when someone cares enough to point out what I’m doing wrong. I think it’s more the fear of being discovered that I need help. Growing up I never liked admitting that there were things I could not do. I would rather move on to the next task if I had to deal with asking someone for help. I guess it’s because I hate not measuring up. I hate it when people have expectations of me and I am not able to meet them. I hate it.

I think that’s why now God is putting me in situations where I need to ask for help, where I need to admit that I don’t know a lot of things and I need to be trained and mentored. I need to go up to people and ask them to help me. Something I have never really done in the past but now is something I need to do.

Love hurts. Yes, it does. But it’s certainly comforting to know that God disciplines only those that He loves. 

Time to Grow

I have been forced to think about growing up the past few months.

You’d think this statement is coming from a woman in her early 20’s, someone who’s just entered the workforce or who’s recently gotten into a relationship or has had something life-altering happen to her.

It’s not. It’s coming from a 29-year old woman, who strangely feels like she’s 21 and just starting her adult life.

Even more strange is the fact that for most of my life, I was the big sister. I have always had a strong need to nurture. In college, I was the one who took younger people under my wing to protect them and be there for them and give them advice, helping them through the stuff they had to deal with.

How did I ever end up perpetually 21?

I see some people now that I used to know from way back and I  see how much they’ve grown. They’re women with husbands, kids, responsibilities, apartments, cars, loans, insurance, a bank account with nothing less than 100K in it. They’re women in relationships, at the peak of their careers, investing in bonds and stocks and bills and other things I don’t understand. They’re women who travel the world, who meet people and don’t feel the least bit intimidated by them.

And I am here. Not as grown up as I’d want to be.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t reject where I am or who I am. I know that although maybe it’s taken longer than I’d hoped,  I am where God wants me to be. It’s all starting to take form now.

From all sides, I’ve been getting revelations all pointing to one road. That is, the road to maturity.

Career-wise, it’s the first time I’ve been put in a position where if something goes wrong, I take the heat. I’ve always had people to back me up in the past. Now, the buck stops and starts with me. This is the first time I’ve had the privilege of leading a group of women and have the great and daunting responsibility of guiding them and making sure they get the most out of their stint here so when it’s time to move on, they will be wiser, sharper, and really just the very best at what they do. This is the first time I’ve had to really face my work fears and like the Nike slogan says, “just do it.”  I am learning so much about myself, about other people, and most especially about God through my new (old) work. I am grateful and excited to see what’s up ahead.

Tonight, a friend of mine from church came up to me and asked when I’d be free to chat. I prodded him to tell me what he wanted to talk to me and a friend of mine about and it turns out it was about packaging ourselves better. I found the whole thing funny because it was so unexpected but I appreciate so much that this friend of mine (whom I see as both a dad and friend in one) had the courage and cared enough about me to go right out and say what I’m sure a lot of people have wanted to say but didn’t know how. That really got me thinking. It is really time for a change.

Then, when I got home I saw my very good friend Tin’s blog and it was also about growing up.

It took a while, I know, but finally I can say: I get the message, God.

Organizing Chaos

I confess. I keep a messy desk.

Last Wednesday’s leadership group discussed three of the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. One of the topics discussed was problem solving. John Maxwell’s advice to those who get paralyzed by unforeseen circumstances is to anticipate problems. In other words, we need to plan ahead and take into consideration that things might not go exactly the way we planned.

One thought led to another. And we found ourselves talking about the state of our workstations. My friend Char defends the mess by telling people who sneer that what is one her desk is disorganized chaos. One of the pastors she works with replies: there’s no such thing.

True, true. While I relate very much to having piles of paper and other stuff on my desk and being able to find that teeny-weeny piece of paper where I wrote so-and-so’s phone number, I also know that just because I get by with organized chaos (yes, maybe I even say I work better with it), the truth is I love a clean desk. I love the idea of knowing where exactly the contract for QTV is because it’s filed away (fastened and all) in the 2008 Contracts – TV folder which is placed where the other folders are. It’s a relief to see what my desk really looks like almost-bare.

The desk is now neat. I’ve been toiling for a couple of hours. I’m sure it’s not as neat as a certified neat-freak’s desk, but this is certainly a good start. I think it’s Emily Barnes who said this: A place for everything; everything in place.

That’s a nice thought.

Undeniably Summer

Can you believe how hot it is?! 

Just came back from a trip to Baguio with my family and some of the staff of myhomespa, my Mom’s home service spa business. I don’t usually like going to Baguio because I’m more of a beach person than a mountain person but I have to admit it was a relief to escape the Manila heat. The weather wasn’t super cold but was cold enough for me to drive around Baguio with the windows down (except for when we got anywhere near Session Road, which I was told is said to be the most polluted street in the country.) 

It was my first time to stay at Baguio Country Club (thanks to Tito Ricky Y.). The place was fantastic. The room was certainly better than what I expected. The stay also sparked my brother’s extreme interest in golf (genes I think he might have gotten from my mom’s brother, Tito Perry, who was a JunGolfer back in the day). Every single day of our stay, he would prop up a chair by the window to watch golfers. Ever single day he asked to be taught but since we had a pretty packed itinerary and they didn’t have junior golf sets, he wasn’t able to play (at least not when I was there [had to go back home a day ahead of them]). Another highlight is the country club’s raisin bread. I am not a bread person but believe me, they have the best raisin bread I have ever tasted in my life. 

It was also my first time to go to Trinidad Valley. Didn’t get to pick strawberries but Amico, my brother, had a great time jumping into a muddy hole.  His sneakers were filthy! My Mom had to go buy slippers but it was a choice between a P150 pair and a 3-for-100 pair. Guess what my Ilocano Mom chose! Haha! It would’ve been fine except the slippers were unmistakably ladies’ slippers. My brother probably regretted jumping into that hole all the way to Session Road where my Tito thankfully bought him hiking sandals (at least I think that’s what they’re called).

Spent my spare time reading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. If you’re a single woman and you have not read that, I recommend that you borrow or buy a copy. Eye-opening and well, convicting, really. Ladies just really need to be reminded to let the men be men. It’s always very tempting, given women’s nature to control situations, to take matters into their own hands. (I’m not just talking dating here.) That’s why it’s good to be reminded about these things. I know it’s very anti-Cosmo of me, but well, I haven’t really been a Cosmo girl for the longest time. The thing is I can say truthfully the Cosmo way never worked for me. It will seem to work for a time, but experience taught me that it won’t in the long run. The Bible way, on the other hand, while not the easiest way, is the way I’m going from now on. Four years of being a Christian and it’s just now that I’m really getting it. As always, balance is the key.

Going back to summer, it was so hot in Galleria today. The whole time I was meeting my small group, I was dabbing my face with tissue. The Victory center was not as packed as usual (I guess a lot of people took advantage of the Holy Week break) but man, was it hot! Pastor Ferdie’s preaching about Jesus’ resurrection was awesome, though, and that’s why I didn’t mind the heat so much. That video he used was perfect for the series CSI Jerusalem. The message, where Pastor Ferdie also mentioned the seven last words, reminded me of last year’s Easter message given by Pastor Steve Murrell at the Fort, where I used to work. I still remember the painting illustration, which really made me understand what it meant when Jesus said “It is Finished.” To listen to that, click here. 

Another full work week ahead of me and I’m still up at close to 3AM. This Sunday habit is getting to be unhealthy. I’m excited for tomorrow, though, because our new Media Relations associate, K, is joining our weekly Monday meeting. She’s supposed to start tomorrow but it turns out her medical hasn’t been turned over to Summit yet. Nevertheless, I’m excited to have a our team complete again.  

Boxed Out

Have not blogged in what feels like decades. It’s not that there’s a lack of things to blog about because, believe me, there are a lot of thoughts going through my head that need to be put into writing. I think that’s precisely why I haven’t been blogging – because there’s just too much on my plate ( as always).

So what does one do when one has too much going on? One realigns, refocuses and gets all the unnecessary out of the way in order to make room for essentials that have been pushed aside because the urgent has this irritating habit of boxing out everything else.